Are We Truly Creating a Stutter-Friendly World for Children and Adults Who Stutter?

Does having a stutter mean someone is broken? Obviously not. Why is this the message so many people seem to believe?

Believe it or not, there are people who stutter that have never considered their stutter something that might hold them back. The reason they seem rare is because those people don’t generally look for community support - at least not for the stuttering. The microaggressions they face may not feel big enough to think too much about.

I think it makes it this much harder for parents and caregivers and SLPs to grasp the idea that stuttering isn’t… well, as the Stuttering Foundation called it, “one of the most devastating and baffling of all human disorders.” Mmm. Not so much. Personally, I don’t think something that doesn’t literally kill you in a short time span should get that title.

That’s not to say stuttering can’t feel devastating to some people who stutter. The way we communicate is a key part of who we are. Hindrances to that - be it societal or physical - can be really stressful and upsetting. But it doesn’t have to be. That’s the key. That’s what I need SLPs and parents and caregivers and yes, even PWS themselves to understand.

You can be successful and stutter.

Not despite.

You can be an effective community with a stutter.

Not despite.

People who stutter are lawyers, are public speakers, are actors. I’m not talking about the ones who used to stutter or who hide it. I’m talking people do those things while stuttering openly. And they’re good at their jobs. It’s not just ‘possible’ - it’s already being done.

Nina G is an incredible comedian and disability activist. JJJJJermone Ellis is an artist/musician/poet. Marc Winski is an actor and TikToker.

Pamela Mertz, who has several podcasts, is one of several Toastmaster Grandmasters in the stuttering community. She (Pam) also headed the “WeStutter Work” program - we have detectives, trial lawyers, doctors, paramedics, professors and teachers, social workers, chief officers, interpreters,

Carl Coffey has been talking about this all over the place - he’s got a platform on his LinkedIn as well as a series of videos with the National Stuttering Association called “Full Disclosure”.

What I’m trying to say is: there is no shortage of examples. And as much as I hate to use an example of someone who does still struggle with shame and may not identify as a current PWS, the President of the US stutters. And he stutters openly, whether he means to or not. And guess what? You don’t become President because your communication is ineffective. (Say what we will about any of the recent presidents and their messaging - they are no doubt effective at their goal.)

We need parents, caregivers, SLPs, and allies to understand that stuttering isn’t a death sentence. But the messaging from some of these organizations (looking at you, The Stuttering Foundation, an org that most SLPs are quite familiar with) has them scared.

It reminds me a LOT of when people say, “I don’t want my child to be gay because life is harder for them.”

Well - life wouldn’t be harder for them if they got active support from their loved ones, and our loved ones worked to shift society’s horrid viewpoints.

Will stuttering make your child’s life harder? Maybe, sure. But so can just about anything. And the biggest problem connected to stuttering isn’t the physical repetitions or blocks. It’s a society that doesn’t understand or make room and accommodations for stuttering. It’s people feeling like they can’t speak - not because they’re actually mute, but because people focus on ‘fluency’ as the way they should be communicating.

This ISAD essay by Anita Blom - rocks my socks off. It literally made me cry. The entire thing should be required reading for anyone who doubts a PWS can be anything other than an incredible communicator, stutter and all.

Here’s the closing thought from Anita:

I meet children coming to camps hiding behind their parents. And at the end of the camp they realize they are superheroes. I meet young people who stutter who don’t want to speak when they come to a youth meeting. After the camp they join (and win) Toastmasters, apply for leadership courses or become the city mayor… Do we want quiet children, who are being told to stop talking when they stutter, or do we want children who play a role in the school theatre, stuttering and all? Do we want young people who stutter who show their fantastic English skills, stuttering and all? Do we want adults who are more eloquent and inspirational speakers than fluent politicians?

I don’t want to shame parents and caregivers. I can hardly blame them for their fear when they see messaging like the ones in many stuttering Facebook groups, or from organizations like Stuttering Foundation. When the only representation is the butt of a joke. What other conclusion are you left to draw?

It’s up to these organizations and SLPs to platform the voice of people who stutter. To desensitize society. To normalize it. To refuse discrimination and actually fight for PWS. Not just collect payments for feel-good inspiration. We need you.

And parents and caregivers, we need you too. Join those parent Facebook groups and tell other parents that their kids will be okay. Don’t apologize for your child’s stutter, but platform their voice when you can, educate other parents, SLPs, caregivers, and friends. And teach your kid, just like my mom taught me: “Don’t ever let anyone not let you speak because of your stutter. Teacher or anyone else. They can wait. They can get over it. It’s their problem that they need to fix, not yours.”

EDITED TO ADD:

I did want to add that, even if somebody who stutters was actually unable to do a certain job due to their speech, it would not be the end of the world. The hope is always for accommodations in those situations, but your worth isn’t tied to a job.

Sometimes it’s hard for me to find the space that is both “actually people who stutter can be good lawyers because stuttering doesn’t make someone a bad communicator” and “being disabled in such a way that would leave someone unable to work certain (or any) jobs shouldn’t be a death sentence. Our system is broken.”

The self-depreciation from within the stuttering community is so intense that there’s a natural inclination to push back with: BUT YOU CAN STILL COMMUNICATE. It is OKAY. It’s not the end of the world.

There’s a huge frustration to think that people OUTSIDE the stuttering community may look at us and assume we’re unclear, nervous, lying. It’s those minds that need to change with a metaphorical smack in the face.

But done without putting DOWN disabled people.

PW who feel this way deserve compassion and understanding as we help them see it doesn’t have to be quite the way they assume… while also acknowledging the barriers that do exist.

There are so many nuances.